Grate ~2lb aged Irish cheddar and toss with 2 Tbs. all purpose flour.
Gently warm two bottles of dark beer (we used a spicy little brew called Black Chocolate Ale, but my teetotaling palate has a hunch anything rich and bubbly would be delish. Except, perhaps, root beer. Don't try that.)
When the beer is steaming hot but not yet boiling, slowly add the floured cheese, one scant handful at a time, constantly stirring with a wooden spoon in a figure-8 pattern, watching carefully to ensure the fondue doesn't boil.
When all that cheesey goodness is incorporated and you have an irresistibly creamy vat and you imagine it couldn't possibly get any more delicious, swirl in a generous tablespoon of pure maple syrup. Oh my.
Serve this up with fresh pumpernickel, assertive gherkins and the very best apples you can find.